{"id":1112,"date":"2025-12-17T10:08:28","date_gmt":"2025-12-17T10:08:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newshot.amazingstory.blog\/?p=1112"},"modified":"2025-12-17T10:08:30","modified_gmt":"2025-12-17T10:08:30","slug":"i-wasnt-looking-for-my-first-love-but-when-a-student-chose-me-for-a-holiday-interview-project-i-learned-hed-been-searching-for-me-for-40-years","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newshot.amazingstory.blog\/index.php\/2025\/12\/17\/i-wasnt-looking-for-my-first-love-but-when-a-student-chose-me-for-a-holiday-interview-project-i-learned-hed-been-searching-for-me-for-40-years\/","title":{"rendered":"I Wasn\u2019t Looking for My First Love \u2013 but When a Student Chose Me for a Holiday Interview Project, I Learned He\u2019d Been Searching for Me for 40 Years"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

As a 62-year-old literature teacher, I assumed December would be typical until a student\u2019s Christmas interview question revealed a long-forgotten tale. Everything changed when she stormed into my classroom with her phone a week later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

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\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m 62F, and I\u2019ve been a high school literature teacher for about four decades. Hall duty, Shakespeare, lukewarm tea, and essays that sprout overnight are all parts of my rhythmic life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cInterview an older adult about their most meaningful holiday memory.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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My favorite month is usually December. I don\u2019t anticipate miracles, but even teenagers become a little softer during the holidays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every year, shortly before winter break, I assign the same project:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cInterview an older adult about their most meaningful holiday memory.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They moan. They grumble. They then return with anecdotes that remind me of my motivation for choosing this position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

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<\/a>Dog licks arent kisses. Heres what your dog really means when it licks you.<\/strong>Cleverst<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This year, Emily, a timid little girl, approached my desk after the bell rang.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Holding the assignment page as if it were important, she asked, \u201cMiss Anne?\u201d \u201cCan I interview you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI want to interview you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I chuckled. \u201cOh honey, my holiday memories are boring. Speak with your grandmother. Or your neighbor. or anyone who has actually accomplished something noteworthy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

She didn\u2019t recoil. \u201cI want to interview you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I questioned, \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her eyes remained steady as she shrugged. \u201cBecause you always make stories feel real.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That landed in a tender place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAll right. Tomorrow after school.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I nodded and sighed. \u201cAll right. After school tomorrow. But if you ask me about fruitcake, I\u2019ll rant.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She grinned. \u201cDeal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She sat across from me in the deserted classroom the following afternoon, her feet swinging beneath the chair and her notebook open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

She got off to a simple start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat were holidays like when you were a kid?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I gave her the safe version: my mom\u2019s horrible fruitcake, my dad blasting carols, the year our tree leaned like it was giving up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan I ask something more personal?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emily wrote swiftly, like she was accumulating gold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She paused and tapped her pencil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She asked, \u201cCan I ask something more personal?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I reclined. \u201cWithin reason.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She inhaled. \u201cHave you ever experienced a romantic tale around Christmas? Someone unique?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had been dodging the question for decades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n
\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to answer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daniel was his name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the age of 17, we were inseparable and foolishly courageous in a way that only teenagers can be. Two children from precarious homes planning as if we were in charge of the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He used to exclaim, \u201cCalifornia,\u201d as if it were a pledge. \u201cYou and me, the ocean, and sunrises.\u201d We\u2019ll begin anew.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In any case, I would smile and roll my eyes. \u201cWith what money?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI loved someone when I was 17.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He would smile. \u201cWe\u2019ll work things out. We consistently do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like she could see the past moving behind my eyes, Emily kept a close check on my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said, \u201cYou don\u2019t have to answer,\u201d without pausing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n

I took a swallow. \u201cNo. It\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I then gave her the outline. The refined version.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI did,\u201d I said. \u201cI was seventeen when I fell in love.\u201d Overnight, his family vanished due to a financial scandal. No farewell. No justification. He simply vanished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI moved on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emily furrowed her brows. \u201cLike he ghosted you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The use of contemporary language nearly made me chuckle. Nearly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I muttered. \u201cLike that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said, \u201cWhat happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because that\u2019s what adults do when they\u2019re bleeding inside, I kept it light.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saying, \u201cI moved on,\u201d \u201cEventually.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat sounds really painful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emily\u2019s pencil slowed. \u201cThat sounds really painful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I smiled at her like a teacher. \u201cIt was a long time ago.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

She didn\u2019t dispute. She simply took care to write everything down, as if she didn\u2019t want to damage the paper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I sat by myself at my desk and gazed at the empty chairs after she went.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As if nothing had changed, I went home, made tea, and graded essays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, something had. I sensed it. A portion of me that I had walled up seems to have cracked open like a door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEmily. A million Daniels exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A week later, my classroom door burst open while I was erasing the board between third and fourth period.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With her phone in her hand and her cheeks flushed from the cold, Emily rushed in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She gasped, \u201cI think I found him, Miss Anne.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I gave a blink. \u201cFound who?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She forcefully swallowed. \u201cDaniel.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My initial response was a quick, incredulous laugh. \u201cEmily. A million Daniels exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My stomach dropped at the title.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI am aware. But take a look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

She extended her phone. A post from a local community forum appeared on the screen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My stomach dropped at the title.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSearching for the girl I loved 40 years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I read, my breath caught.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A picture was present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She had a chipped front tooth and a blue coat. We were seventeen. The bravest person I know was her. I\u2019ve searched every school in the county for decades since I know she wanted to be a teacher, but I\u2019ve had no luck. Before Christmas, if anyone knows where she is, please let me know. I need to give her back something significant.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a whisper, Emily said, \u201cScroll down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A picture was present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was seventeen years old, wearing a blue coat, and my front tooth was chipped, as I was laughing. Dan slung his arm around my shoulders as if to shield me from everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you want me to message him?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My knees became weak. I took hold of a desk\u2019s edge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMiss Anne,\u201d Emily continued, her voice suddenly shaking, \u201cis that you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I just managed to get it out. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The environment became too bright and noisy, as if my senses were having trouble processing reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emily had enormous eyes. Would you like me to send him a message? Do I need to let him know where you are?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I parted my lips. Nothing was revealed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe last update was Sunday.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I tried to shrink it, like I usually have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remarked, \u201cIt might not be him,\u201d \u201cIt could be old.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

I got a glance from Emily that said, \u201cPlease don\u2019t lie to yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMiss Anne,\u201d she continued softly, \u201che makes weekly updates.\u201d Sunday was the most recent update.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

a few days prior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fear and hope were so intertwined that I was unable to separate them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So he wasn\u2019t thinking back. He continued to search.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something stirred behind my ribs, fear and hope so tightly intertwined that I was unable to tell them apart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emily stood motionless, as if I would back off if she moved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I finally let out a breath. \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay as in yes?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I replied, trembling. \u201cMessage him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The speed at which your brain can revert to its youthful state is embarrassing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emily gave a professional nod.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her words, \u201cI\u2019ll be careful,\u201d \u201cPublic area. during the day. Limitations. Miss Anne, I won\u2019t have you kidnapped.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I laughed in spite of themselves. It was wet and wobbly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saying \u201cthank you,\u201d \u201cTruly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I stood in front of my closet that evening as if it were a test I hadn\u2019t prepared for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The speed at which your brain can revert to its youthful state is embarrassing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re sixty-two. Act as though you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I displayed sweaters. rejected them. Return them. dragged them out once more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are sixty-two,\u201d I said as I looked at my hair in the mirror. Act as though you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In any case, I phoned my hairdresser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emily sneaked into my classroom the following day after the last bell, grinning conspiratorially.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whispering, \u201cHe replied,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My heart leaped. \u201cWhat did he say?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before I could be overcome by terror, I nodded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She showed me the screen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease let her know that I would like to see her if it is indeed her. I\u2019ve been holding off for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My throat constricted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSaturday?,\u201d said Emily. Two o\u2019clock? The parkside caf\u00e9?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before I could be overcome by terror, I nodded. \u201cYes. Saturday.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After typing rapidly, she smiled. \u201cYes, he replied. He will be present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What if the truth is not as beautiful as the past?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saturday arrived far too quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I put on a nice coat, a skirt, and a cozy sweater. not attempting to appear younger. I\u2019m just trying to look my best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My thoughts were nasty during the journey there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What if I\u2019m not recognized by him? What happens if I don\u2019t recognize him? What if the truth is not as beautiful as the past?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The aroma of espresso and cinnamon filled the caf\u00e9. In the window, holiday lights blinked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I noticed him right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His eyes, however, remained the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

table in the corner. Straighten your back. The hands were folded. He looked around the door as if he didn\u2019t believe in luck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His hair had turned silver. Time had silently etched creases on his face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His eyes, however, remained the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Warm. Paying attention. A little naughty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As soon as he saw me, he got up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnnie,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We merely looked at one another for a moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It had been decades since anyone had called me that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDan,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We simply gazed at one another for a moment, caught between our former selves and our future selves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He grinned broadly and with relief, as if something within of him had finally relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m so glad you came,\u201d he remarked. \u201cYou look wonderful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I needed to breathe, so I snorted. \u201cThat\u2019s generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy did you disappear?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It sounded like a tune I knew when he laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

We took a seat. I shook my hands around the coffee cup. He saw, and acted as though he didn\u2019t. That tiny act of kindness almost killed me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We started by doing some safe catching up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cYou\u2019re a teacher?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cStill,\u201d I said. \u201cApparently, I can\u2019t quit teenagers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He grinned. \u201cI always knew you\u2019d help kids.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He clenched his jaw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The stillness that I had been carrying for forty years then arrived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I put down my cup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDan,\u201d I said, \u201cwhy did you vanish?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He clenched his jaw. Before turning back to face me, he glanced at the table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause I was ashamed,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf what?\u201d Softer than my rage, I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI wrote a letter.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy father,\u201d he remarked. \u201cTaxes were not the only issue. He was robbing his staff members. those who had faith in him. My parents were terrified when it was revealed. We left before dawn after packing the house in a single night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I tried to say, \u201cAnd you didn\u2019t tell me,\u201d but my voice cracked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI wrote a letter,\u201d he blurted out. \u201cI got it. I\u2019m positive I did. But I was unable to confront you. I assumed you would consider me to be a part of it. As if I were also unclean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My throat constricted. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t have.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His eyes were shiny as he nodded. \u201cI know that now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo I promised myself I\u2019d build something clean.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He inhaled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo I promised myself I\u2019d build something clean,\u201d he stated. \u201cMy personal funds. My personal life. I would then return and locate you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen?\u201d I inquired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTwenty-five,\u201d he put it. \u201cThat\u2019s when I finally felt\u2026 worthy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWorthy,\u201d I said again, tasting the melancholy. \u201cDan, you didn\u2019t have to earn me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He appeared to be about to argue, but he refrained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery lead died.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cI tried to find you,\u201d However, you were married. Your last name has changed. Each lead perished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I glanced at my hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was heartbroken,\u201d I freely acknowledged. \u201cI ran into marriage like it was a life raft.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Slowly, he nodded. \u201cMark.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I said. \u201cMark.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t give him a book. Only the truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe kids are grown now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

two children. a life that is useful. \u201cThe kids are grown now,\u201d Mark observed as he sat me down at the kitchen table at forty. I can now spend time with the woman I\u2019ve been in love with for a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dan\u2019s expression stiffened. \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I raised a shoulder. \u201cI didn\u2019t yell. I didn\u2019t toss anything. I simply took it in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As if I\u2019d been taught to accept being abandoned in silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dan\u2019s gaze was fixed on his hands. His words, \u201cI married too,\u201d had a son. It was over. She was unfaithful. We got divorced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I posed the most important query.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a little while, two people with lives full of common harm sat there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I posed the most important query.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy keep looking?\u201d I muttered. \u201cAll these years?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dan didn\u2019t think twice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause we never got our chance,\u201d he replied. \u201cBecause I never stopped loving you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I exhaled a breath that seemed to have been stuck inside of me since I was 17.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then the post came back to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou love me now?\u201d Half-laughing through the pain, I asked. \u201cAt 62?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m 63,\u201d he responded with a soft smile. \u201cAnd yes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My eyes were burning. I detest sobbing in front of people, so I blinked quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then the post came back to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe important thing,\u201d I stated. \u201cWhat did you need to return?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dan put something on the table after reaching inside his coat pocket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI found it during the move.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A locket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My locket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the one that contained a picture of my folks. The one I mourned like a body after losing my senior year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI found it during the move,\u201d he muttered. \u201cYou dropped it off at my house.\u201d A box was used to pack it. I protected it. I promised myself that I would return it eventually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Opening it made my fingers tremble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t let it go.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unaffected by the passing of time, my parents grinned up at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It stung how tight my chest become.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whispering, \u201cI thought it was gone forever,\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He remarked, \u201cI couldn\u2019t let it go,\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

While the world continued on around us, we sat in a peaceful area of the caf\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dan cleared his throat at last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m not giving up my job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to rush you,\u201d he stated. However, will you give us an opportunity? Not to redo 17. only to see what remains for us at this time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My heart was racing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I declared right away, \u201cI\u2019m not giving up my job,\u201d as it seems to be who I am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relieved, Dan laughed. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t ask you to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I inhaled deeply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m willing to try.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I discovered Emily in her locker on Monday morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

His expression softened. \u201cOkay,\u201d he muttered. \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I discovered Emily in her locker on Monday morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She froze when she saw me. \u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt worked,\u201d I declared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She quickly put her hands to her mouth. \u201cNo way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I responded, \u201cIt did,\u201d and my voice became husky. \u201cEmily\u2026 thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI just thought you deserved to know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her eyes gleamed, but she shrugged. \u201cI just thought you deserved to know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou have to tell me everything!\u201d she called over her shoulder as she left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAbsolutely not,\u201d I replied over the phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With a cackle, she vanished into the mob.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I was sixty-two years old, standing in the hallway with a new type of optimism in my chest and my old locket in my pocket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not a fairy tale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I wanted to go through it for the first time in decades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not a second chance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only a door that I doubted would ever open again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I wanted to go through it for the first time in decades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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